


That Grade S Line

by sturmgalan



Category: DCU - Comicverse, Young Justice (Comics)
Genre: Bart-inna-skirt, Kon's pain is hilarious, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-10
Updated: 2012-08-10
Packaged: 2017-11-11 20:02:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/482379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sturmgalan/pseuds/sturmgalan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kon can't get the idea of Bart in a skirt out of his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Grade S Line

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt I gave for [something I commissioned](http://soot-em-up.tumblr.com/post/28391313900/commissioned-this-from-the-awesome-knightowls-a) that evolved into something ridiculous and wouldn't leave me alone.

Almost before Kon realised it, he was slowing down mid-flight to keep the window in view. Its blinds were half down, slanted like someone had been interrupted in the process of lowering them, but enough of the window was still uncovered to be able to see into the room beyond. To show what'd caught Kon's attention in the first place.

Part of Kon's brain considered that maybe he shouldn't be watching. (Peeping. _Breaching privacy_. Kon couldn't decide whether the disapproving voice sounded more like Superman or Tim.) Most of it was just entranced, by thin hands pulling a sock over a nicely-toned calf, the swinging hem of a pleated skirt that gave only a glimpse of sculpted thighs. The way that, when both socks were properly on, it left only the briefest flash of skin visible. It was amazing.

And Kon knew great legs. He had eyes, and more than that, he worked with _superheroes_. He would've been lying if he said he'd never thought of the power coiled in some of _those_ fantastic ladies' thighs.

(He was at least self-aware enough to realise he was kind of a pig.)

The girl disappeared from view. Kon had begun flying away when he saw her again, exiting the apartment building.

Except it wasn't a girl. It was Bart.

Kon flew into a wall and woke up.

\------

By the fifth time Kon sighed at nothing in particular, Tim was ready to throw the contents of his workstation to where Kon lay prone on the couch. Pretty much the only thing holding him back was that he knew he was better than that.

Also, his notebooks didn't deserve that. His laptop definitely didn't deserve that.

Fortunately, Cassie was much less restrained than he. He watched as her textbook went sailing through the air.

"Dude, _ow_."

"Sorry," and Cassie actually sounded somewhat repentant, "but you wouldn't stop sighing. You know you can always come to me if you need to talk about anything, right? Like whatever's bothering you right now."

"There's nothing bothering me!"

In the hush that followed, both he and Cassie found themselves staring at Kon. Their silence rang loud with disbelief.

Kon repeated, insistent, "There's nothing bothering me _at all_." As though saying it once more with feeling would make it true. Tim wasn't sure whom Kon was trying to convince more - Tim and Cassie, or Kon himself.

Judging by the way Kon had just buried his face into his hands, though, Tim was going to go with the latter.

Cassie placed her hand on Kon's shoulders. "It's okay to talk about your feelings, Kon."

"But I don't _want_ to talk about Catholic schoolgirl Bart," Kon said. And then froze. "...I said that out loud, didn't I."

"Um. Yes," said Cassie.

"Please kill me now," said Kon.

"Sorry, we don't kill," said Tim, unable to help but chime in. "It's this rule we have, you see."

"...I changed my mind, I'm going to kill you instead."

Tim was still snickering when Kon launched off the couch straight at his face.

\------

"So you think about me wearing schoolgirl uniforms."

Kon's hands jerked on the game controller. On the television screen, Yoshi careened off the road, but Kon was too busy trying to restart his brain to notice or care. "Only once! It was a dream! --I mean, no! I mean, who told you!?"

Bart tap, tap, tapped away, _just_ slow enough his fingers were still visible. (He might have still been bitter over having to slow himself down at all, after the nth time his teammates cried foul. Or he might not have. It was hard to say.) Toad steadily pulled forward to cross the finish line; across Bart's view, the game proclaimed him first place winner. "Beat you. So that means you owe me food."

"Huh?"

"Remember? Our bet?" Bart was frowning now. Kon wasn't allowed to forget about the bet! He was _hungry_ , and also, he had no money on him. He'd even saved his _awesome mental warfare trick_ thing specifically for this. Tim would have been proud. --Oh. Wait. Mental warfare trick thing. "Are you _still_ stuck on the schoolgirl uniform thing?"

"Ghkkk," went Kon.

"Hmmm." Kon watched as Bart seemed to consider for several seconds what the conversation they'd just had actually _meant_. And then Bart ran off, and all Kon could think was that he'd done it now. He'd messed up everything between them. Whatever 'everything' even was now, anyway.

Kon would have been lying if he said he didn't suddenly breathe easier when Bart zipped _back_.

Well, before he noticed what Bart was _wearing_. What parts of his brain that hadn't suddenly up and crashed were whimpering defeatedly. The Impulse boots shouldn't have looked so good with the rest of. That. Uh.

If anyone had ever doubted red was Bart's colour... Kon wanted to stroke down the red, red plaid of that skirt, until his palms met sun-golden skin. And that tie was just begging to be tugged at, another splash of crimson just _there_ against the stark white of the blouse, drawing the eye.

No. No! This was Bart, his good ol' buddy ol'--

"You wouldn't think a school uniform would be hard to find 'cause the students would hafta get them from somewhere, so I went to ask Cissie where she got hers and she asked why and laughed a lot when I explained. I wonder why she laughed. Maybe I should have asked Batman. Or Tim. But then she said it wasn't meant to be a _real_ school uniform, which is dumb; Cassie should just say what she means then--"

Kon was going to kill Cassie. Or maybe kiss her, if he didn't die from this first.

"--and then I realised it was probably a sex thing. The skirt's really breezy when I run in it. I didn't notice last time 'cause I had my Impulse suit on under. So do you want to make out now?"

"Mrgle," was all Kon's brain, suddenly addled once more, could come out with.

In the blink of an eye, Bart was across the room and straddling Kon's lap. "It's okay," Bart said, patting Kon's cheek. The smile on his face was all Bart. Kon didn't know if that made the situation better or worse. At least, Kon would have known how to handle mind-whammied Bart. "I'll take care of you. Cissie was very helpful."

"I think I'm dreaming again," said Kon. What was going on? Where was he supposed to put his _hands_?

Bart responded by giving a big smacking kiss on Kon's forehead. He'd had to tug Kon's head down to do so, and Kon felt like he shouldn't have found that so adorable. Sure, it was _Bart_ , but 'adorable' was for girls. And even with the skirt, Kon was pretty sure he didn't think of Bart as a girl. Fairly sure. Probably--

"Or, we could go out. On a date. You _gentleman_ , you." And Bart was still beaming that entirely Bart smile. "You do owe me food, anyway."

Wait. "I do?"

Bart flailed a hand to where Mario Kart was still running on the screen. Kon had completely forgotten about it. "Remember? Bet? Food!"

Oh, yeah. "Right. Date. Yes."

And then because Bart was still straddling his lap, and the tie was just _there_...

Kon tugged Bart closer and kissed him.


End file.
